The Truth of the Matter – A Reflection of Christmas Past

Snow Last December in Georgia

Snow Last December in Georgia

Lying in bed during the holidays with the cold and flu can make you wistful and melancholy.  I was viewing Christmas pictures from last Christmas and smiling, feeling a little sad that it will be just me and Kevin this year.  Last year we got to spend time in Oklahoma with his family and children, and my youngest daughter Kelsey.  But this year, because of finances, we will have to be here alone.  Pooh.

I guess what got me started looking at the past was a sentence in that book I’m reading “One Day My Soul Just Opened Up” by Iyanla Vanzant.  “When you are courageous enough to examine and challenge those things that you have been taught to accept as truth, you cannot help but find the truth beneath their accepted meaning. Discovering and embracing just one eternal truth will fill you heart, bring tears to your eyes, and eradicate the false beliefs in an instant.” (pg 25) This sentence made me reflect upon another Christmas, back in 2006 when I went to stay with my sister who was about to have her second child.  I was in place in my life that was between darkness and light,  and I was fighting to climb up from a situation I allowed myself to be put in.  I was choosing the light of goodness, but it seemed that the darkness did not want to let go.  I kept telling myself how evil I was, and undeserving of goodness.  That Christmas, I had a most wonderful dream in which I left this plane of existence and traveled to another, where I walked out upon a balcony of this beautiful house and there sat God.  She was beautiful, her robe a brilliant white and her hair golden blond.  She smiled at me and as we looked out over this sparkling blue lake set in mountains, she said to me, “You’re the only one who thinks your evil.”

The truth of the matter was She was right.  There are so many in this world who have been told they are not good enough, not worthy enough, not wise enough, not talented enough, etc., etc.  We all have the ability to eradicate false beliefs about who we’ve been taught to think we are.  There is so much darkness now wanting to cover those seeking to grow spiritually, that they might it difficult to find the light, believing that they are too evil for the love of God, and that’s not what God wants us to believe.

“The truth will bring you back to the place you started as a divine idea in the mind of God.  The truth will free you from the habitual fears the process of life can impose upon you.  The truth will eliminate your need to be anything other than what your already are…Divine.” (pg. 25-26)

This Christmas, as we reflect on what others are calling a year of Doom, 2012, I ask those who read this to reflect upon it as a year of change.  An awakening I would say, to the truth of who we really are.  Let’s us bring a balance to ourselves spiritually by allowing the light of goodness to cleanse us of ugly beliefs, and replace those dark things with that of Love, for ourselves, for others, and for our world.  Perhaps, little by little, we can change this planet.  There is truth to positive Thinking!

Page 31 and 32

God is Truth, Truth is divine

Truth is eternal and consistent.  It never changes.

God is within every living thing, which means there is a divine and eternal Truth beneath everything I see.

Truth is greater than any problem on the physical level.

The TRUTH is that God believes in me.

A Male Dominated Society – Commentary to ABC News Report “Missing Girls In India”

Writing this commentary is going to be tricky, and I forewarn you that the views expressed in this post are my views and no one elses.  As a historian, studying ancient cultures, especially when it comes to women’s rights, is one of my areas of chosen study as I pursue my doctorate.  And it gives me such pain when I read about the horrible things male dominated societies have enacted upon the female partners of their species.  So when I watched the ABC News Report about the millions of missing girls in India this morning, my heart couldn’t take just sitting by, sipping my hot tea and shaking my head in discouragement.

First of all I want to say something about the roles men and women play in today’s world.  We have slowly moved from the true purpose of how God intended the two parts of the Human species to interact with each other as partners.  I say partners, because, unlike most beliefs, I know (and I say this word with all clarity) God did not make men and women separate, operating with one as master over the other.  In fact, he made both equal, it’s the only way things can get done.  It is religion gone awry which has created the servant women.

Before the existence of the Roman Empire, men and women were equals.  Many ancient people and tribes operated with both as equals, and for a majority in European cultures, a female form was considered God, the sacred feminine.   Most people see history as something that goes back to about 200o years ago, and view with a limited eye the creation of today’s world.  Much of what is set in place today comes from the establishment of Roman Culture which developed about 800 BC to 400 BC, and Roman Culture was Male Dominated.

A prime example of Roman influence can be seen in Judaism. There is a jewish myth that God created both Man and Woman equal, Adam and Lilith, but because Lilith wanted to be on top during sexual intercourse, Adam got angry and called out to God that he wanted another woman who would be his help mate and not equal.  Lilith, in Jewish myth, now became a demon who sought out infants to eat.  An educated mind would see that as the Roman culture expanded to take over Jerusalem, much of the male dominated influence did too, causing this myth and version of creation.

So, I am getting off topic, which is easy for me to do.  Back to India and the report.  Sex selection in southern India has gone completely out of hand.  People put such emphasis on having boys and not girls, because of expensive dowries that have to be paid by the female’s family, that people go to places, which are illegal, to find out the sex and then either have an abortion, or if the baby is born, kill her, starve her or abandon her to die.  The practice has created about 32 million deaths according to one source I researched this morning, of unborn and born females.  According to this Facebook page: Sex Selection Increases Number of “Missing Girls” in India by Zayn A. Beg, there is in one village a ratio of 400 boys to 2 girls.  In another village, there wasn’t a single marriage for 110 years until recently. There is such a shortage of women now.  And I can’t understand why they just don’t adjust their customs, seeing their prime minister is female.

Does anyone else see a problem?

I am somehow taken back a month or two to the study in my “Third Reich” History class about the holocaust.  Hitler used Euphausia to eliminate about 250,000 mentally ill patients, and of course, the millions of Jews killed because they were considered racially impure.

What is going on in our world, that killing innocence can be so justified?  Does anyone actually believe God (or their god) is looking down at them and applauding?

Whether cultural customs or religious practice, we humans need to wake up and realize this is NOT how it’s supposed to be.  This is NOT how God intended for us to work together.  Truth be told, God was originally worshipped as a Woman.  It is fear, the want of control, and barbarism which took that away.  Let’s hope I don’t need to explain that further.

“Silence” / A Sci-Fi Short from the Desk of Constance Wallace

When I dream at night, it is usually in major motion picture color, with added 3D clarity, which brings the visions to a striking realism.  Minus the booming effects that my boyfriend Kevin Henderson can add, with his ever so wonderful knowledge of Home Entertainment Systems, I sometimes find some great short stories from these particular nights.

Here is one called “Silence.”

The world was quiet.  All the anxious fear had been silenced, and the only sound right now, was the gentle washing of the sea, as it pulled at the sand in front of me.  I ran my fingers through the warmth of the small crystals, letting the granules slip through the opening between my fingers.  Is this how God feels, contemplating creation? A brief moment of absolute clarity, and then the moment vanishes?

I can’t make the screams go away.  I didn’t like this feeling of being a creator, chosing life and death, placing the value of human existence upon a scale that I must weigh.  It was wrong to me.

The department was my responsibility, its experiments I oversaw.  All pre-cautions were put in place.  How did they breach the system?

I can’t make the screams go way.

“General, you must blow the sector!  If you release it, we’re all doomed!”

That sentence replayed itself like the emotions on the other side of the monitor, as I watched my friends and co-workers claw at the sealed doors, asking for release.  I could not make the vision go away.  It was my creation, a viral mutation that could silence the whole world.  They needed to be released, their anxious fears muted.

“General, your command?”

Did I say the words?  I don’t remember.  All I remember is the silence.  A weight of quietness, which hung about my shoulders, its heaviness equal to my burden of creation.  I can’t make the screams go away.


The gentle touch of little fingers brought my vision to the present.  I turned to view the innocence of my grandchild.

“Yes, dear, is it time?”

The small blond head nodded quickly, her smile beaming away the dark cloud which veiled my thoughts.  Rising from the warmth of the sand, I grasped the beautiful fingers as she led me back to the island temple.  Our sanctuary from the silence of the world.  Our place of regeneration, my creation.  A people who knew no war, no fear, no hunger, no disease, no strife.

I could not make the screams go away.

Can I go back to God and change it?

It’s very weird how small memories come to me about my children, because they come at the strangest times.  This one came today when I was taking a French-speaking exam.  I was thinking, “Oh man, am I going to be able to remember all the pronunciation of these words, and am I going to remember the script?”  And almost like a flash of light, I could see in my mind’s eye, my youngest child Kelsey, (who will be 18-years-old this Halloween) when she was about four.

It was a bright summer day in Texas, and hot.  I made the kids go outside for awhile, because they were watching too much TV.  Chase, (my son who is 23 and in the army now) was playing with his buddies.  I think it was cowboys and indians, or something like that, and Kelsey, who was his shadow since she could walk, followed the troupe out the door.  Not but ten minutes later, she came in, crying with the biggest crocodile tears she could muster.

“I a big boy mommy, right?”  she asked me to confirm through the heebie geebies, and sniffles.

I looked at her for a moment before I called Chase in.  “Chase, what did you say to your sister?”

Chase lowered his eyes, “Mom, she’s not a boy like us! She can’t come and play guns and stuff.”

Now her statement made sense.  My heart ache for her as I watched the big tears fall down her cheeks.  She loved her brother so much, that she wanted to go everywhere with him.  Yet, he was getting to the moment in his young life that he wanted to hang out with his own friends without little baby sister in tow.

Cuddling my littlest up in my arms, we sat down in front of Nick, Jr. and Spongebob as I waited for her to be okay.  I dried her face and kissed her, and told her I loved her.  She was still for a moment, before she patted my arm and said, “Momma why did God make me girl?”

The question said in so much innocence caused me to pause.  How was I to answer this?  Taking a deep breath, I replied, “Well God has a special plan for you, but as a girl.  There are probably things you are supposed to do, that if you were a boy, you wouldn’t be able to accomplish them.”

She is a bright one, and I could see her mind wheeling.  She was digesting that tidbit, soaking it in.  Another couple of minutes passed, and then she patted my arm again.  “Momma, can I go back to God and change it?” she asked with so much determination.

I quietly laughed to myself.  “No baby, God’s mind is kinda made up at this point.”

Well I know you are asking how this story and my French exam could have anything in common.  That’s what I asked myself too.  It wasn’t until this afternoon, that the answer came.  My life has been difficult, and when I found myself in trouble, I would stand there with God and demanded that it be changed.  He would wipe my tears and said, “No, my mind is kinda made up at this point!”  So when I was complaining quietly about the French exam, it was his friendly reminder that I was on the right path, and I just need to buck up and study a little harder.  French History is where I’m supposed to be, and there is no going back to God and changing it.